“You always did have a problem with undies. Remember when you wet your pants in the second grade?"- Joyce Barnhardt”

“Did you take Joyce's engine?''My instructions were to disable the car, but one of the men bet Hal a burger he couldn't get the engine out. So Hal removed the engine.”

“You know what your problem is? You got too many scruples. One or two is okay, but you get too many of them, and it clogs everything up."What she said made no sense at all, but was probably right."I got some scruples," Lula said, "but I know when to stop. There's a point where you have to say enough is enough and screw scruples.”

“He shouldn’t have shot Tiki,” Logan said. “Hawaiian gods get even. Did you see what Tiki did to his foot? It flew right off his leg when you kicked it!”

“Pete- What does a woman want out of marriage?Louisa- Undying devotion and a warm place to put her cold feet when she gets into bed at night.”

“I hung my head. Ranger was next on the list. “Yo,” Ranger said when he answered. “Small problem.” “No kidding. Your car just went off the screen.” “It sort of burned up.” Silence. “And you know that keypad you gave me? It was in the car.” “Babe.”

“Bitch.""Slut.""Whore.""Cunt."I kicked Joyce in the shin. I draw the line at cunt.”