“You gonna take the case?"It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of."You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens," Grandma said.”

“You're probably gonna find this hard to believe, but I was sort of weird when I was a kid."Salvatore "Sally" Sweet”

“The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled.Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really works. I'm gonna have to try it out at the seniors meeting.”

“Holy Crap,' Carolli said. 'You shot Jesus. That's gonna take a lot of Hail Marys.”

“It's a penis,' Grandma said. 'Stephanie got it in the mail. It's a pretty good one too.”

“Grandma has a .45 long barrel that she keeps hidden from my mother. She got it from her friend Elsie, who picked it up at a yard sale. Probably it was in Grandma's purse. Grandma says it gives the bag some heft, in case she has to beat off a mugger. This might be true, but I think mostly Grandma likes pretending she is Clint Eastwood.”

“Morelli was wearing a blazer over a black knit shirt, He took a seat, and his jacket swung wide, exposing the gun at his hip."Nice piece!" Grandma said. "What is it? Is that a forty-five?""It's a nine- millimeter.""Don't suppose you'd let me see it," Grandma said. "I'd sure like to get the feel of a gun like that.""No!" said everyone in unison."I shot a chicken once," Grandma explained to Morelli. "It was an accident.""Where did you shoot it?" he finally asked."In the gumpy," Grandma said. "Shot it clear off.”