“Your cousin Maureen just got a job at the button factory. They're probably still hiring."Helen Plum”

“What's this outfit? You can't afford clothes? Are you wearing other peoples?"Helen Plum”

“Stephanie Plum: Do you have your stun gun and pepper sray?Lula: Does a chicken have a pecker? I could invade Bulgaria with the shit i've got in my handbag.”

“Stephanie Plum, psycho bait.”

“These are desparate times." - Stephanie Plum”

“That's how hospitals get you. You go in to visit and before you know it they got a camera stuck up your butt and they're looking' to find poloponies.”

“I like the way you've let your hair go curly," he finally said. "Suits your personality. Lots of energy, not much control, sexy as hell,"Joe Morelli to Stephanie Plum”