“2021—will it be a good year, or will it be just another two consecutive numbers?”

“If it’s not one thing, it’s another. The other thing is, of course, two. That makes the one thing love, because two is the smallest number you can have to get the one.”

“My math is so fuzzy you should pet it. Four minus two isn’t two, because between two and four minus two is an infinite number of numbers.”

“The number 12 is good, the number 123 is better, but the number one is still the best.”

“What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two.”

“Number one on my list of things to do before I die is become immortal. Obviously there is no number two on my list.”

“I made art out of all the phone numbers on napkins I’ve had over the years. So it was just one napkin, and I wiped my mouth with it after I was done.”