“33 old people went into a nursing home, and only 34 people came out alive. One old woman died while giving birth to twins.”

“The time is now 3:34. Damn! I’m late for 3:33.”

“I went out to eat on a restaurant’s opening night. It was packed! I guess people heard I’d be dining there and came to adore me.”

“Love is 3:33 am plus 360 degrees plus 365 days, minus 12:34 pm. I ought to know, because I weighed it myself.”

“I have a list of people to kill. All but number 33 are my clones. Who’s number 33? Why you are, of course.”

“In the 48 hours following my discovery of her infidelity, I found out she’d been with three other guys—two of them being conjoined twins. The twins didn’t go to our school, and they weren’t homeschooled either. They were 57-years-old and homeless.”

“People are like puzzles. Especially interconnected people, like Siamese twins.”