“A blanket could be used as a bathtub tarp, keeping all the body’s heat in, and the police’s and murder victim’s wife’s eyes out.
”

“A blanket is a shield, blocking out the breeze, and an insulator, keeping in body heat.
”

“A brick could be used to keep warm, and a blanket could be used to build a house.”

“A blanket could be used to make you laugh, and a joke could be used to keep you warm inside.
”

“A blanket could be used as a tarp over one of those tiny circular inflatable pools for children. Well, you might call it a tarp, but I’d call it a trap. But I’ve already tried everything I can think of to silence the noisy neighbor kids, from mousetraps on lollipop sticks, to superglue disguised as lip gloss—and yet the shrieking continues.
”

“Blankets could be used to stop exponential population growth. If we kept the people warm, maybe they wouldn’t try to heat themselves up through continual fornication. 
”