“A blanket could be used to save your marriage. But to be honest, I’d recommend saving your marriage in a Tupperware container. That way it’ll stay fresher for longer.
”

“A blanket could be used to stop the bleeding. But what if that bleeding is figurative? In that case, I’d recommend a virtual Band-Aid.
”

“A blanket could be used like the Romans used Greek gods. Still, if you want my honest opinion, I’d rather pray to cheddar cheese than to Zeus. 
”

“I built my marriage brick by brick. And I destroyed it blanket by blanket.
”

“Does Ziploc make body bags? I’ll bet the corpses would stay fresher for longer if they did.”

“A blanket could be used as a cover of your favorite song by your favorite cover band.
”

“A brick could be used to save humanity from mortality. Or at least save us from mortar. 
”