“A blanket could be used to warn your enemy that you are coming—and that you are warm. Where’s the cold war when you need it?
”

“A blanket could be used to stop a war, particularly if that war is a Cold War. 
”

“A blanket could be used to cure the common cold. I mean, come on it’s just common sense. A blanket is warm, and if a cold is what it’s named, then a blanket would transform a cold into some nameless nonentity. Take that, Louis Pasteur. 
”

“A blanket could be used to make you laugh, and a joke could be used to keep you warm inside.
”

“A brick could be used to keep warm, and a blanket could be used to build a house.”

“A blanket could be used like a Love Fleece. I imagine you’re shaking your head. Do you disagree? Fine, then when you’re shivering, I won’t ask if it’s because you’re cold—or because you’re lonely.”

“A brick could be used as a pillow, if you first wrap it with a blanket. But if you’re shivering from being cold, don’t worry—I’ll cover you with my naked body.
”