“A brick could be divided into four equal pieces and split among three friends. I’ll take the two largest pieces, or half, whichever makes me appear the most generous.”

“A brick could be used to divide two people, and then conquer both of them.
”

“Two bricks, parallel and horizontal, equals an equal sign.
”

“I’ll watch the Final Four when there are three teams playing at once for two titles and one large bag of regrets. That bag is mostly full of air, like a bag of potato chips, only harder to chew.”

“Bricks, bricks, and bricks could be given away at the Olympics, instead of gold, silver, and bronze medals. If all a champion wants is to win, then I’ll take all that unnecessary gold and silver off the international community’s hands. 
”

“A brick could be used for bric-a-brac. If you bring the brick, I’ll bring the brac.
”

“Everyone owns a piece of democracy. Actually, I own two pieces, and each one has a nipple.”