“A brick could be used as a Blushometer. To find out how embarrassed you are, just measure you blushing cheeks against the rouge of a brick. 
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“A brick could be used as a measurement of time. Yes, just think how stylish you’ll look with a brick duct taped to your wrist!
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“A brick could be an object to measure your life against. Are you square, rigid, and inflexible? If yes, are you in the military? If no, why are you acting like a brick?
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“A company could use bricks to measure their growth rate. How many bricks have angry investors thrown at you lately? If the answer is none, then your growth rate is probably pretty good… for the moment.”

“Bricks could be used to pad the pockets of crooked politicians. Why stuff their greedy pockets with cash, when we could load them up with bricks and find out how good of swimmers they are?
”

“A brick could be used as toilet paper—especially if you just shit a brick. You could shit and wipe your way to a wall of privacy.
”