“A brick could be used as a bowling ball. With how bad I bowl, a rectangle ball couldn’t possibly hurt my score, because in bowling you can’t get a lower score than zero”

“A brick could be used like ice cream. But hold up, hold up. Let me put a bowl under it before you start licking, or else you’ll drip brick all over my blanket.
”

“If you were running away from me, down a straight hallway with an oiled hardwood floor, and I had a machine gun and a pointy mustache, I still couldn’t hit you with a bowling ball. But what are you doing? You should be running toward love, not away from it.”

“I wanted “300” to be less about fighting, and more about bowling. At least they could have had the Spartans wear bowling shoes.”

“There’s a hair in my soup. That’s the problem of using my helmet as a bowl.”

“The idea of adultery is like a soccer ball. Yeah, you might kick it around for a while, but if you actually wind up scoring, you get slapped with a huge penalty.”

“I ate a rainbow in a bowl, because it’s better than eating rain soup. Food and water aren’t supposed to be one and the same.
”