“A brick could be used as a brick. Clever, right?
”

“A brick could be used in conjunction with another brick to be the Democrat and Republican Presidential candidates. People will say, Vote for the brick on the left, or, The brick on the right is better. But do not be deceived—they're both the same, and they're both bricks.
”

“A brick could be used to commit genocide on a small patch of grass, if you lay the brick down on the lawn and leave it there long enough. But I do not condone this monstrosity of lawntrocity. (Lawn + atrocity—clever, no? OK, no, it’s not so clever. To have any lawngevity as a writer, I’ve got to avoid making clunky, brick-like puns.)
”

“A brick could be used as a laxative. You know, “Shit a brick.”
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“A brick could be used for bric-a-brac. If you bring the brick, I’ll bring the brac.
”

“A brick could be used to enslave humanity. No wait, a brick can’t do that—but the Masons can.
”