“A brick could be used as a flotation device, if you’re Michael Phelps and don’t need it.
”

Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz - “A brick could be used as a flotation...” 1

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“I can’t swim, because despite my love being shaped like Michael Phelps, it’s so heavy it’s like an anti flotation device. If I can barely even carry it, I can understand how it’s a burden to you and why you don’t want to keep it in your heart.”

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“A brick could be used as a Sexual Orientation Device. But I don’t need it, because I know my sexual orientation—north!
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“A brick could be used as a floatation device. But only use it if the person drowning is a politician.
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“A brick could be used as a device to deliver bad news. Sometimes it's better to be blunt.
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“What with the pointing and the blue suit, she brought to mind a flight attendant. I expected her to tell me that in the event of an emergency, my brand-new Hecate blazer could be used as a flotation device.”

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