“A brick could be used as a laxative. You know, “Shit a brick.”
”

“A brick could be used as toilet paper—especially if you just shit a brick. You could shit and wipe your way to a wall of privacy.
”

“A brick could be used as a brick. Clever, right?
”

“A brick could be used as a PRA, or Person Replacement Apparatus. Just give the brick a name, start talking to it, and before you know it you've got a friend for life. Say, do you want to brick swap? 
”

“A brick could be used for bric-a-brac. If you bring the brick, I’ll bring the brac.
”

“A brick could be dropped in a toilet to replicate the sound of shitting bricks. But we wouldn’t have to go through all that trouble if you’d just eat the bricks I put on your plate.
”

“A brick could be used to enslave humanity. No wait, a brick can’t do that—but the Masons can.
”