“A brick could be used as toilet paper—especially if you just shit a brick. You could shit and wipe your way to a wall of privacy.
”

“A brick could be used as a laxative. You know, “Shit a brick.”
”

“A brick could be dropped in a toilet to replicate the sound of shitting bricks. But we wouldn’t have to go through all that trouble if you’d just eat the bricks I put on your plate.
”

“A brick could be used to prop open the door to my heart. But you might not want to leave the Love Door open, because my ex just shit all in there.
”

“A brick could be pet, like a dog, and taught to shit in my neighbor's yard.
”

“A brick could be used to help you keep your job. Just hold it down, man.
”

“A brick could be used as a Blushometer. To find out how embarrassed you are, just measure you blushing cheeks against the rouge of a brick. 
”