“A brick could be used to enhance your social status. Just affix it to the hood of your car, like a Mercedes ornament.
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“A brick could be used as a status symbol, much like a Mercedes is now. The cool thing about a brick is not only would it have zero emissions, but it would also have a top speed greater than that of most American cars.
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“A brick could be used to enhance your sex life. So what are you waiting for? Get that gerbil out of your pants
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“A brick could be used to raise your status as an upstanding citizen. Don’t get too excited, though. It’ll only raise you up about three inches.
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“A brick could be used as toilet paper—especially if you just shit a brick. You could shit and wipe your way to a wall of privacy.
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“A brick could be used to make music. But why not use something more humane, like your armpit.
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“A brick could be used as a measurement of time. Yes, just think how stylish you’ll look with a brick duct taped to your wrist!
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