“A brick could be used to measure the speed of gravity, but an apple offers a tastier option. 
”

“A brick could be used as a measurement of time. Yes, just think how stylish you’ll look with a brick duct taped to your wrist!
”

“A brick could be used as a Blushometer. To find out how embarrassed you are, just measure you blushing cheeks against the rouge of a brick. 
”

“A brick could be used as a status symbol, much like a Mercedes is now. The cool thing about a brick is not only would it have zero emissions, but it would also have a top speed greater than that of most American cars.
”

“A brick could be used as a brick. Clever, right?
”

“A brick could be used as a laxative. You know, “Shit a brick.”
”

“A brick could be used to keep warm, and a blanket could be used to build a house.”