“A brick could be used to prop open the door to my heart. But you might not want to leave the Love Door open, because my ex just shit all in there.
”

“A brick could be used as a doorstop. But that’s obvious. What isn’t obvious is why somebody would want to stop a door, since doors represent openness. What is that person hiding behind that door that they want to stop people from opening it up? I don’t know, but it’s got to be diabolical, and if anything is to be stopped, it’s not the door—it’s the evil plan by the Door Master to take over the world.
”

“A brick could be used as toilet paper—especially if you just shit a brick. You could shit and wipe your way to a wall of privacy.
”

“I left the door open so you could come in—and I could go out. That’s what being in love is all about.”

“A brick could be used as a laxative. You know, “Shit a brick.”
”

“A brick could be used to keep thieves away from your house. Just set a brick outside your front door, and you won’t need any additional security. Years will go by and nobody will steal the brick. And because the brick won’t get stolen, it’s proof that it deterred thieves from approaching your property.
”

“The locked door in my house is just a diversion. The real valuable items are out in the open, where they are hidden from the unimaginative.”