“A brick could be used to save humanity from mortality. Or at least save us from mortar. 
”

“A brick could be used to enslave humanity. No wait, a brick can’t do that—but the Masons can.
”

“A brick could be used to keep you three inches away from death.
”

“A brick could be used to ascertain the truth. And then logically, a non-brick could be used to detect the lie. What kind of things are non-bricks? Well, anything from blankets to lies. So therefore, a lie could be used to detect a lie, and all this logic makes me want to grab a blanket and lie down—and that’s the truth. 
”

“A brick could be used to send Satan back from whence he came. But where did he come from? Probably Washington DC.
”

“A brick could be used to make music. But why not use something more humane, like your armpit.
”

“A brick could be used like Dracula uses binoculars. I swear that pervert peeps on me every night from the tree across the street.
”