“A brick could be used to send a message. The quickest way to send it would be through the air, and it would make more of an impact than an email or a text message.
”

“I’ve always wanted to send a message in a bottle, with my message saying something like, “Don’t litter.”

“A brick could be used to send Satan back from whence he came. But where did he come from? Probably Washington DC.
”

“A brick could be used as a status symbol, much like a Mercedes is now. The cool thing about a brick is not only would it have zero emissions, but it would also have a top speed greater than that of most American cars.
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“Seeking a woman who looks like a feminized version of L. Ron Hubbard to help me decode intergalactic messages that I might receive on my Alien Communication Helmet. And after we receive and decode the messages, this female friend could help me make spaghetti with my aforementioned Alien Communication Helmet (it's basically a strainer with antennas). Please don’t send me telepathic thoughts, as it might disrupt transmissions from other galaxies. E-mail only if interested.”

“A brick could be thrown, like a football, only instead of a wide receiver, I’d recommend sending out a politician to catch your pass.
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“A brick could be used to make music. But why not use something more humane, like your armpit.
”