“A brick could be wrapped in plastic and sold individually to toddlers as toys. (Warning: Bricks can be harmful if swallowed. If ingested, please contact a physician first, and then the manager of a circus.)
”

“A brick could be used to enslave humanity. No wait, a brick can’t do that—but the Masons can.
”

“A brick could be used as a pillow, if you first wrap it with a blanket. But if you’re shivering from being cold, don’t worry—I’ll cover you with my naked body.
”

“A brick could be placed down on the first step on the path to enlightenment.”

“A brick could be used as a brick. Clever, right?
”

“A brick could be used as a laxative. You know, “Shit a brick.”
”

“A brick could be used in conjunction with another brick to be the Democrat and Republican Presidential candidates. People will say, Vote for the brick on the left, or, The brick on the right is better. But do not be deceived—they're both the same, and they're both bricks.
”