“A cake for all is not a celebration of one. Cupcakes are the ultimate birthday cake.”

“I like ice cream with my cake. But in moderation, and not like five gallons with a cupcake. For that much ice cream, I’d need at least two cupcakes.”

“I wouldn’t want the guests at my birthday party confusing my celebration with the Oscars. That’s why I’m having the awards ceremony after we eat cake and I open my presents.
”

“Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday.”

“The event happened on my birthday. I don’t remember the date, I only know it was my birthday because there was no cake or presents.”

“I would answer the door for the pizza delivery guy wearing my birthday suit, but it had cake all over it so I sent it to be dry cleaned.”

“I ate a pound cake today, but I gained two.”