“A clone would make a great birthday gift, because it’s the only gift that keeps on giving. At least it’d better give me a birthday present every year. It owes its life to me.”

“My parents always said that knowledge was the best gift they could give me, probably because they were too cheap to buy me Christmas or Birthday presents.”

“If you give me a gift, it’d be insulting to pay you, because I’d be denying you the gift of giving. So my gift to you is to accept your gift, thereby allowing you to enjoy the gift of giving.”

“A clone’s most valuable function would be as a gift giver, because who else but you knows exactly what you want? Only your clone. And besides being the perfect gift, it’d also be a surprise, because it’s not like you bought your own gift.”

“Love is a gift that costs nothing to give. Love is also the most valuable thing in the world. Think about that next time you’re tempted to call me a cheap bastard because I didn’t buy you a birthday present.”

“Link says if a girl says not to get her a birthday present that means get me a birthday present and make sure it’s jewelry.”