“A door shaped like a vagina is more inviting. Sure, I’ll come in, but not slouched over. Allow me to straighten up before I enter.”

“I’ll leave the door unlocked. Be sure to ring the doorbell before you climb in through the window.”

“No, it’s never happened to me before but I doubt after I fell head over heels in love with a wonderful man who kept important things from me, I’ll get over it just like that. I’ll drink with my girls and cry and wonder if I made the right decision. Then another man will come along, he won’t be as wonderful as my first love, but I suppose I’ll eventually get over it and move on.”

“Happiness isn't something that you plan for. It comes knocking unexpectedly, just like opportunity. And it's up to you to answer the door and invite it inside.”

“I’ll grab my crotch at you. It’s a greeting, like hello, only more provocative and inviting.”

“Sure enough, he seemed to straighten a little more with every step of her fuck-me heels.”