“A fan can be used as a listening device, pushing sound waves towards your ears, along with cool air. I listen harder than a hurricane, and that’s why I have a vacant and evacuated expression.”

“Dear cat, your ears are flipped inside out, so I know you’re not listening to a word I’m not saying.”

“After I speak, my words merge with the wind, and if you’re listening, your ears act like sails and carry the conversation.”

“I like how cats’ ears can flip inside out. It’s as if they’re saying, Keep talking, human, but I’m not even listening.”

“Flatulence is the international language. Speak it with your anus. Hear it through your ears. Listen through your nose.”

“I listen better with earplugs in, so I can see what your body is really saying.”

“Science doesn’t listen. Science has mice growing out of its ears. Wait, I mean human ears growing out of its mice.”