“A feather taped to a vibrator is a tickling machine to induce hunger, and NOT a sex toy. So you won’t have to ask if you see it in my fridge.”

“Like a vibrator bolted on a bulldozer, I’m a regular sex machine.”

“A vibrating toothbrush is one hygienic marvel of a sex toy. The next time I want to make love, I’ll make a dentist appointment.”

“When I look in the fridge, I see groceries, but I don't see food. My stomach growls; but there is no appetite.Appetite and hunger are different. Appetite is the mental prompting that kicks the auto-response into drive so you actually reach out, take the food, put it in your mouth, chew, and swallow. I learned this in my first psychology course. Eating isn't just a physical need; it starts in the mind, generating hunger, which then should trigger the body to ingest food. I have no sparks between these plugs.”

“When Lauren hired a woman to come to the party and sell sex toys, Kristi turned to her and said, 'This seems like something you would want more than I would. I mean, I have Todd now and we're getting married, so I don't really need a vibrator. But it's fun for the single girls, I guess.”

“You definitely have the voice for phone sex, but I've got to go. I have a date with my vibrator.""Oh, Eva." Cross spoke my name in a decadent purr. "You're determined to drive me to my knees, aren't you? What will it take to talk you into a threesome with B.O.B.”