“A one-winged bird does not fly south for the winter. It flies south, west, north, and east, over and over. That’s how I feel when I’m in love, only I walk.”

“The birds fly south for the winter not because it’s cold, but because they have wings. Similarly, love has the ultimate flight pattern, and that pattern is plaid.”

“North, south, east, west, I need to find a nude erection to point the way.”

“The basketball team was trailing by three points. I trail by four points—north, south, east, and west. I also trail by covered wagon.”

“I’m world famous. Throughout the globe—north, south, east, and west—there are literally four people who know my name. It’s great to have all four grandparents still living, and widely dispersed around the world.”

“Maybe one day I could fly all over the world and meet other interesting birds.”

“I’m a patriotic pilot. I know how to fly a flag. Of course I don’t fly anything anymore, not after my boating accident.”