“A peaceful wave came over me, and I thought, Thank God I’m holding my breath.”

“My skull is soundproof. And thank God too, or else you’d be able to hear all the horrible things I’m thinking about you.
”

“I guess I should be thankful. Full of thank. But what is thank? I can't eat thank, so I know my stomach isn't full of thank. I can't smell or breathe thank, so I know my lungs aren't full of thank. I'm not even sure how much thank I could fit in the trunk of my car. But I do know one thing. It's much easier to give thanks than something that actually costs money to give.”

“When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing.”

“I just realized my reality, and I’d like to say No Thanks. I’m going back to sleep.”

“My mother-in-law got so angry at me she vowed she’d never speak to me again, and I smiled and gave thanks for the little miracle God worked in my life.”

“I breathe onto a mirror just to make sure I’m still alive, and to see how good looking my breath is.”