“A pear, an apple, and a banana in a basket on a table isn’t art, no matter how skillfully painted. But it is something to talk about, or at least a tasty way to utilize one’s mouth.”

“There’s always something to talk about, even if you talk about how there is nothing to talk about. Of course, I’m talking about love.”

“War is fought over futile and feudal things. War is not about ideology, no matter how artfully framed, but it’s simply about power and money and control.”

“I grew a mustache, and I grew it in my garden. My mustache is organic, and will taste tasty on your mouth.”

“I’d rather have a career that utilizes my creativity, but torturing people all day long is not a bad gig. At least not for me.”

“I find it more polite when I yawn without opening my mouth. I also talk this way too, with my mouth closed.”

“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”