“A tie is like an arrow pointing to my crotch. A tie is also like an even score.”

“I tie my smile like a shoelace.”

“A tie is a win for more than one person. But a tie is also a loss equally shared by two or more people.
”

“Learning how to love is like learning how to tie your shoes, and that’s precisely why I wear slippers.”

“I don't want to be tied down in a relationship, I want to be tied down during sex.”

“I’ll grab my crotch at you. It’s a greeting, like hello, only more provocative and inviting.”

“My girlfriend is as reasonable as Lady Justice, and just as blindfolded. She’s tied up in the trunk this very moment.”