“A tongue, if used the wrong way, can cause serious injury or even death. Politicians are famous for misusing their tongues this way. However, tongues can also be cleansing agents, making the most of a hairy situation. Cats are masters at using their tongues in this manner.”

“Guns don’t kill people. Politicians with sharp tongues do.”

“Cats have tongues with the texture of bricks, and fur as warm and soft as blankets.”

“I can tie a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue. Now, if only I could do the same with my shoelaces, I wouldn’t have to banana pudding my way to success.”

“My sword can cut through butter like water. Likewise, my tongue can cut through the logic of love.”

“The reason we talk with the same part of the body we eat with is because if we tried to eat with our ears, and I have tried, then we would naturally have to have tongues in our ears. And most people, myself excluded, hate having tongues in their ears.”

“I need to take an exfoliating bath. Prepare the kittens’ tongues.”