“A unicorn breathes rainbows like a dragon breathes fire. My coffee breathes Jarod Kintz quotes.”

“Jarod Kintz is a friend, a lover, and a loner. Jarod Kintz talks about Jarod Kintz, because Jarod Kintz has nobody else to talk to. Jarod Kintz is also a liar and a thief, and that’s why I think he’d make a great politician.
”

“Nine out of ten Jarod Kintzes agree that there is only one Jarod Kintz.”

“We think that behind that steel door of resistance there’s a dragon breathing fire; if we open the door we think we’ll be devoured. So often, we open the door, and as someone once said ‘we don’t find a fire breathing dragon, we find a gerbil in drag.”

“It sounded like a dragon breathing in time with me, like I had this pet dragon who was cuddled up next to me and cared enough about me to time his breaths to mine.”

“Breathe in, breath out. Oxygen is carcinogenic and likely puts a limit on our life span. It would be unwise though, to try to extend life by not breathing at all.Which of us doesn't do it? Either we loll in anaerobic stupor, too afraid to fill our lungs with risky beauty, or we roll out fire like dragons, destroying the world we love.I try not to burn up my world with rage.It is so hard.”