“A Yes-man is always a somebody. Only a No-man is a nobody.”

“When somebody tells me they’ve had a bad day, I always respond in a somber voice, “Yes, I’ve had one of those too. August 15, 2004.”

“If somebody offered me Cyanide, my only question would be, Is it organic? Because organic is always the healthier option.”

“Death is the only equality guaranteed in life. A poor man will die just as surely as a rich man.”

“I respect a man not for the clothes he wears, but for the clothes he doesn’t wear. Yes, nudity is an admirable thing indeed.”

“Teach a man to fish, and he can provide for others. Teach a man selfishness, and he’ll only be interested in providing for himself.”

“I asked possible witnesses about the invisible man shaped like a whisper, and nobody saw or heard anything. Which means he was there, and he is probably my father.”