“A zebra is the piano of the animal kingdom. And I am the flute at the nudist colony, if you know what I mean.”

“Zebras are the lions of the animal world. I mean they would be, if lions weren’t already the lions of the animal world. So, is this a book about zebras or pianos? Well, I haven’t played a zebra or ridden a piano in a few years, but that doesn’t mean I’m not an expert on both. In fact, the Bantu bestowed upon me the name “Pundamilia Mozart kupanda kinanda ng’ombe dume”, which roughly translated means, “Zebra Mozart who rides piano benches like they’re bulls.” That’s right, my friends. I’m an international man of mystery. Here’s some advice: If you want to be seen as more mysterious, remember to turn on the fog machine before you make your entrance.
”

“The immediate issue here is whether the Pooh animals realise they constitute a de facto nudist colony.”

“You're a man milliner, Poirot. I never notice what people have on.""You should join a nudist colony”

“Love is like a zebra refereeing a football game. I should know, because I am the rodeo cowboy riding that zebra.”

“I learned that when people see a dachshund, they have to yell, "A wiener dog!" Like "A rainbow!" "A Shriner!" "A shooting star!" "A clown!" "A nudist colony!”