“About money-grubbing women, here’s my stance: Bring on the gold diggers. I’ve got nothing to offer but pyrite.”

“If I were a robot, and I got cheated on with a vacuum cleaner, I’d question my cleanliness. I’d also wonder if dating a beautiful yellow bulldozer was wise. Is my bulldozer nothing but a gold digger?”

“There’s fool’s gold—pyrite—and then there’s fool’s gold—gold owned by idiots willing to trade it for worthless dollars.
”

“I’ve got nothing, but at least I’ve got nothing to lose.”

“When she offered me a spot of tea, I said, “No thanks, I’ve already got a spot of tea on my shirt.”

“I didn’t have time to bury the money. All my precious time was taken up burying the body. I should have left the body and hid the cash. Damn! Now I’ve got no body, but no money, and nobody to blame but myself.”

“I’ve got better things to think about than thoughtlessness.”