“After a good run, my legs feel like Jell-O. Somebody get me a spoon and stick a fork in me.”

“I like to spoon after I fork.”

“Not only will my kids be out to replace me, but so will all my clones. Makes me feel so disposable, like a plastic spoon.”

“I feel like having another thigh and calf would give me a leg up on my competition.”

“Ideas are like legs: what good are they if you can't run with them, or spread them?”

“If somebody tells me and my wife to get a room, I always ask, How about the kitchen?”

“She’s beautiful, but she’s also got brains. I’ll bet zombies would love to eat out of her skull like a bowl of Jell-O that had an IQ of 180—which is absurd, because the last bowl of Jell-O I ate only measured in with an IQ of 123. Still, an IQ of 123 is more than double what it probably takes to be elected into political office.”