“After a long day of screaming at the trees, I smell like a skyscraper. Would you care to ride on my elevator shaft?”

“The elevator wasn’t empty; it was full of fragrance. The perfume that lingered smelled like my past. Starting tomorrow, to focus on the future, I’m going to close my nose with a clothespin. One day, probably the day after tomorrow, people may regard me as a fashion visionary. Ah, but that’s life, no?”

“Question for your life: Let’s say we’re on a date, and I’m being all seductive by talking nonstop about such interesting topics as intergalactic nano armies and the precise elevation at which a really tall building becomes a skyscraper, how would you respond if I invited you back to my grandma’s house for a passionate night of love making?”

“If I had nostrils on my index fingers, I wonder what the inside of my nose would smell like?”

“If love smelled like cheese, as some people assume it does, then I'd rather be a goat and make love all day long.”

“My favorite tree is the Joshua tree, which is named after me. Well, it will be, once I change my name to Joshua.”

“I can smell a trap. It smells like my ass.”