“After a shower, I like to let gravity and evaporation dry me off as I stretch out naked in the sun on my neighbor’s porch.”

“My grandma came over yesterday, and I had just jumped out of the shower, so I answered the door in my towel. I know it was a little indecent, but I didn’t have time to dry off and change out of my wetsuit.”

“A whisper is like the shadow of a shout. My shout’s a little too green if I let it grow in my neighbor’s yard.”

“I let the feeling wash over me, and then I dried off with a fur coat and went for a walk on my unicycle.”

“Right now I’m naked, like how my pizza comes out of the oven. I like my toppings like I like my women: topless. I love me some pepperoni.”

“I make love like a leprechaun, and I cuddle like a rainbow—after a shower.”

“If instead of a handshake you hold out a fist for a fist bump, I’ll wrap my hand around your fist like it was a circular shower handle, and toggle between hot and cold a few times. But I won’t get naked for you.”