“After we made love, I didn’t want her to leave. At least not before she did the dishes.”

“We couldn’t make love, unfortunately, because she was dead. I didn’t kill her, if that’s what you’re wondering. She died long before I was born, and that’s probably the biggest mistake of my life.”

“I invited my girlfriend over and made her dinner. I didn’t cook, but I did eat her.”

“She asked if I wanted to spoon with her, and I told her I didn’t want to stir things up.”

“We made love like three seasons, but I didn’t fall.”

“We were in love. When I say we, I don’t mean her and I. I mean me and my clone were in love with her. But she didn’t even know I existed, just as I didn’t know my clone existed. I still don’t know he exists.”

“I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night before.”