“Alzheimer’s is the cleverest thief, because she not only steals from you, but she steals the very thing you need to remember what’s been stolen.”

“I don’t believe it’s morally wrong to steal from a thief.”

“A brick could be used to keep thieves away from your house. Just set a brick outside your front door, and you won’t need any additional security. Years will go by and nobody will steal the brick. And because the brick won’t get stolen, it’s proof that it deterred thieves from approaching your property.
”

“She tried to steal the desert. She’s guilty. Look no farther than her camel toe.”

“I dreamt it in my dream. You tried to steal my dream—the whole thing. But even though it was a dream, it was still too heavy for you to lift.”

“Don’t steal because it’s immoral, not because you’re afraid you’ll get caught.”

“I could be the man of your dreams. I could also be the alarm clock, stealing you away from the man of your dreams.”