“An empty bag of chips would make a great sleeping bag, if it were larger. Or if I were smaller, thinner, tastier, and with 33% less fat per serving.”

“I bought a bag of chips at the store, and the cashier asked if I wanted a bag. I said, No thanks. It already comes with a bag.”

“Do you know how much laughter is in a single bag of chips? Enough to feed a seriously starved midget for a week. Now with 33.3% reduced fat!”

“Social progress: for the same price as last year, I get a slimmer candy bar, less chips per bag, and I have to walk a little further to work, because to spend the same amount on gas I have to continuously park farther and farther away from the building.”

“I used a bag of potato chips as a sock once. Roll Tide!”

“I’ll watch the Final Four when there are three teams playing at once for two titles and one large bag of regrets. That bag is mostly full of air, like a bag of potato chips, only harder to chew.”

“The phrase “The cat’s out of the bag” tells that a secret’s been exposed to the world. But who put the secret, or cat, in the bag in the first place? I thought only kidnap victims were supposed to be kept in bags.
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