“And then she walked out of my life forever. Too bad she was hitchhiking. I should have picked her up.”

“I didn’t have enough money to tip the waitress, so I offered to take her out on a date, provided she paid for dinner. And picked me up.”

“I won’t pick up your bad habits. They look heavy and I’ve got a bad back. Plus, I have my own bad habits already.”

“My girlfriend bought me a collared shirt for my birthday, mainly so I don’t get too far ahead of her when she takes me for a walk.”

“I hate when I'm at the grocery store and the person checking me out asks, "Paper or plastic?" It's offensive. As if I'm going to sleep with her just because she has a clever pick up line.”

“The dolphin is a mammal, but it can’t walk. However, it can hitchhike.”

“I fell in love, but she wasn’t there to pick me up. So I took a taxi.”