“Are you happy here with me? Because if not, we can scoot over a few feet.”

“Are you happy to be standing here with me? Because if not, we can scoot over six inches.”

“I prefer long-distance relationships. If we were dating, would you be offended if I asked you to stand back a few feet?”

“Don’t bother calling the cops, because nobody can find me here. I know, because after all these years, I’m still trying to find myself.”

“I’m 30-years-old, and I still can’t get out from under my father’s shadow. He’s really tall, so maybe I’ll just ask him to move over a few feet.”

“A brick could be used as a Disappointment Cube. Here, I’m giving mine to you, because you really bummed me out, man.
”

“I’m here today because of my decisions yesterday. So I can change my tomorrow today, but I can’t change my today today. This makes the me of yesterday offensive to the me of today.”