“Are you OK with pissing people off to succeed? Because that’s what will happen. Success pisses off the unsuccessful.”

“Due to state laws, the restaurant was nonsmoking, which as a nonsmoker pleases me, but as a Libertarian it pisses me off.
”

“I called to tell her I loved her, which was smart, because if I’d have done it in person, I’d have caught her with another man. I don’t care if he was my clone, it isn’t right and it pisses me off. I was backstabbed by myself.
”

“Some people think nature is their God. I'd like to apologize to all those people for pissing on their religion.”

“I’m running late. But that’s OK, because I’m wearing Nikes.”

“I’ll piss in a cup for you. You can run a drug test on it, or you can drink it.”

“My coffee cup didn’t come with a sleeve, but that’s OK, because I’m wearing a tank top.”