“As an atheist hates Christmas, I hate the fourth of July.”

“If taxis were patriotic symbols, I’d flag one down on the Fourth of July.”

“When I was young, I loved summer and hated winter. When I got older I loved winter and hated summer. Now that I’m even older, and wiser, I hate both summer and winter.”

“I heard a song I hate and I thought of her. Ah, such is love.”

“I hate the phrase “Shit or get off the pot,” because I rarely cook with feces.”

“I hate noise pollution. Get that filthy soda can out of my ear!”

“My favorite snack is vagina. The only thing I hate is unwrapping all that saran wrap.”