“As much as I would love to know what you know, I’d much rather eat your brain with a spoon.”

“As much as I want to make love to you, I’d rather make love to your clone.”

“If love were seaweed, I’d ask myself one question: Are you the sort of person who’d swim through it, or would you rather eat it? As for me, pass me my Speedo, and a spoon.”

“Woman, I could drown in your love, but I’d much rather be strangled. More passionate, don’t you agree?”

“I would be an organ donor, but I’d much rather donate a piano.”

“When I meet a European, the first thing I say is, “I’d much rather watch football than football.” But I’m just teasing them, and they know I’d really rather watch football than football.”

“Would you rather be affluent, or influential? I’d rather be fluent in the language of love.”