“As the Hulk is green, I was bright red. I wasn’t embarrassed, but I was having a Niacin reaction.”

“I want a white car that turns red when I’m embarrassed.”

“I want to say something so embarrassing about September that even the leaves start blushing and turning red.”

“Somebody knocked, and I’m glad it wasn’t her. I mean I want her to come, but I thought it was him, so I ignored the knock and that’s why I’m glad it wasn’t her. I wouldn’t want to have ignored the very person I wanted to show up.”

“I can tell you what I wasn’t doing when I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to: I was doing what I was supposed to.”

“I didn’t hear what was said, but I laughed, because I was too embarrassed to embarrass him by breaking up his punch line and laughter by asking him to repeat it.”

“Her name was Rebecca. Or at least that’s what her nametag said. She was making my coffee at Starbucks as I admired how her green Starbucks apron matched her bright green eyes. She had hair the color of coffee with a hint of cream in it. I was trying to act casual and not make it seem like I came in here only to see her. The truth is, I hate coffee. That’s not entirely true. I do like a hint of coffee in my cup of sugar.”