“At the end of the universe you’ll find a door labeled “Do Not Enter.” No great mysteries are hidden there—it’s just a supplies closet.”

“If you need me I’ll be napping in the supplies closet. The most important part of an attack is the planning.”

“The locked door in my house is just a diversion. The real valuable items are out in the open, where they are hidden from the unimaginative.”

“Between was and is you’ll find me—but most of the time you’ll only find me in pictures.”

“Dreams have one-way doors—the door you enter cannot be exited from, and the door you exit from cannot be used for reentry. And I just want to sell tickets to an event people will pay to sleep through.”

“If you supplied me a tissue, I wouldn’t need it because I wouldn’t feel like crying. But if you withhold it, you’ll make me sad and you’ll make me cry, thus causing me to need the very thing you won’t give me. So if you give it to me, I won’t need it, and if you don’t give it to me, your actions end up causing me to need it.”

“I’m a door-to-door salesman. I sell doors. If I can’t knock on yours, because you don’t have a door to knock on, I know you’ll be interested in what I’m selling.”