“At the potluck, I brought two dishes: knowledge and mashed potatoes and gravy. Guess which one got cleaned out and which one hardly got touched.”

“My mashed potatoes come with a masturbation sound you pour on top, like gravy. I got the recipe from Pee Wee Herman.”

“Much to my delight, I found her panties to be full of mashed potatoes—but I had to supply all the gravy.”

“I saw him do a No More Potatoes Dance, after he saw me stuff the last of the mashed potatoes in my pocket.
”

“I don’t like to brag or frighten, but I’ve got a black belt. And a brown one, which I sometimes wear with black slacks.”

“To the potluck I brought something I randomly found in my fridge. It was the source of the stink.”

“I don’t just have one mustache, I have two. You can hardly notice them, though, because I wear them in place of my eyebrows, which I shaved off and donated to charity. I’m just a generous, kind-hearted guy, I guess.”