“Batman’s cape would make a great canvas for a cave painting.”

“Snow on one side of the canvas, silence on the other. I’d call that a perfect painting.”

“If I could capture the rays of the sun in a can, I'd paint a canvas with it and have you look at my work until the memory of my work was burned in your mind and your retinas burned out.”

“I’d love to try to sell a blank white canvas to an art dealer. And when he asks what it is, I’d tell him, “It’s a landscape painting of Key West, from the perspective of an optimistic blind man.”

“An invisible wall of super condensed jelly would make a great shield to stop bullets and sarcasm.”

“My favorite color on canvas is nudity.”

“A karate black belt would make a great blindfold on a kidnap victim, after you karate chop them into submission.”